目次
On “Gifted and Ungifted Oni” (and why it’s often better to be the latter)
読者の皆さま、ごきげんよう。
願わくは、この手紙を読まれる皆さまが、人生を左右するような重大な決断を迫られることなく、穏やかな日々を過ごしておられますように。
というのも、皆さまも私たち鬼と同じで、あとから思わぬ面倒が次々と増えてしまうような、大きな決断はあまり好きではないでしょう。選択肢は二つ、多くても三つほどで、しかも「こちらがおすすめです」と親切に示されているほうが気楽だ―そんなふうに感じる方も少なくないでしょう。
もちろん、それで鬼が伝統や慣習に盲目的に従う種族だと言いたいわけではありません。かといって、スクランブルエッグの理想的な固さや食感をめぐる議論が決闘騒ぎに発展し、朝食の席が棍棒と爪の乱闘になるほど、皆が頑固者というわけでもありません。
ただ私たちは、できる限り物事は単純であるべきだと考えています。そして複雑さというものは、多くの場合、どこかで何かを間違えた結果なのだろうと考えるのです。
そうした考え方を胸に生きている私たちからすると、人間というものは身分や立場を問わず、一日にあまりにも多くの選択を迫られているように見えてなりません。
もっとも鬼の社会では、重い判断は賢者たちに委ねられています。その頂点に立つ者の肩書きを人間の言葉で無理に訳すなら、「厄介ごとを片づける者」とでも申しましょうか。彼らは皆のために最善を考えるという、大変重い務めを担っています。
ここで「王」や「大統領」、あるいは以前お話ししたようなホワイトカラー企業のCEOを思い浮かべる方もいらっしゃるかもしれません。
Greetings dear readers and may this message find you all in that sort of state wherein you needn’t worry about making any too weighty or too consequential a decision. What I mean to say is that, perhaps you – like us oni – are not overly fond of those sorts of determinations that can have unwieldy and uncertain outcomes or can cause a whole cascade of additional entanglements. Perhaps you also much prefer to have choices limited to two or at most three options and, if at all possible, with a strong indication as to what is recommended. I don’t mean to suggest for a moment that we oni, a storied and grand people, have some some unpleasant prediction for conformity to convention, nor do I mean to say that we are all so fiercely independent to the point wherein debates regarding the proper consistency and texture of scrambled eggs become the flashpoint for duels (turning an otherwise pleasant breakfast into a melee of clubs and claws). What I mean to say in fact, is that we prefer simplicity when possible and assume that complexity is naturally the result of some fundamental error. And so, with this sort of maxim in our hearts and minds, we find it intriguing, albeit strange, that mankind should have so very many choices and options to attend to in a given day regardless of their status or station. I should also mention that we oni often leave matters of greater importance or substantial weight to our sages and the highest title among these illustrious noblemen tasked with this kind of adjudication is, to put it roughly in human language, “He who settles thorny things.” These wise and well-tempered oni bear the solemn duty to judge what may be best for us all. Here the reader might be tempted to compare this to a “king” or “president” or perhaps even something as banal and ordinary as the CEO of a company, perhaps one of those “white-collared” companies as we spoke of the other day.
ですが、そのたとえは少々違います。
彼らはどちらかといえば裁判官に近い存在です。ただし、大きな違いがあります。彼らの判断はあくまで「勧告」であって、鬼に命令を強制する魔法でも呪いでもありません。
もっとも、自分でややこしい方法を考え出すよりも、賢者の勧めに従ったほうが楽なことがほとんどですから、結果としてそれが社会の慣習となっていきます。私たちは、その仕組みにとても感謝しています。
さて、そんな賢者になるのはどのような鬼なのかと思われるでしょう。しかし、それも偶然転がり込めるような仕事ではありません。
多くは古く由緒ある名家の出身で、例外はあるものの、幼いうちから選ばれます。そして長年にわたり、厳しい訓練と、聞いただけでも気が遠くなるほど膨大な勉強を課されます。
中でも中心となる書物は、人間の言葉で訳せば『鬼の叡智年代記』といったところでしょうか。（ええ、私がこの連載の題名を少し拝借していたことに今さらお気づきでしょうか。人間の読者には伝わらないかもしれないと思っていましたが、これでようやく冗談が成立しますね。）
その内容は人類誕生以前までさかのぼり、歴史、思想、記録が果てしなく積み重ねられています。なかでも「思想論争録」と呼ばれる巻物には、賢者同士の議論が驚くほど細かく記録されています。
もし皆さまも、理解不能な話題で延々と言い争う二人の会話を聞かされ、「どうかこの場から逃げたい」と思った経験がおありなら、その口論が何百巻にもわたって書き起こされ、しかも創意工夫に富んだ悪口まで丁寧に収録されている光景を想像してみてください。……まあ、その悪口だけは少し面白いかもしれません。
However, here I must provide clarification as these notions, while undoubtedly well-intended, are slightly off the mark. They are more akin to what you might call “judges” with the very important exception being that there determinations are ultimately “recommendations” and are not some form of spell or enchantment that might compel any upright and stout-hearted oni to do something against their own will. However, given that it is oftentimes more preferable to follow these recommendations as opposed to devise some more “complicated” alternative of one’s own invention, these adjudications generally become “standard practice,” and for this we are most grateful. Now, you might ask what sort of oni would take up such a vocation but, here I should offer further clarification, as it’s not the sort of thing one merely “falls into.”
For one, these sages are more often than not selected from one of the older and high-born tribes, though there have been exceptions throughout our long history. They are selected often when still a stripling and must go through rather rigorous and frankly unpleasant sounding drilling, training, and a truly stupendous amount of reading of exceptionally dry material. The chief texts are referred to, again an approximate translation to human tongue, as “The Chronicles of Oni Wisdom,” (yes, I did borrow a bit from the title for my own musings without fully realizing the reference might be lost on human readers, but hopefully now my attempt at levity can be properly appreciated) and as they stretch back long before the advent of mankind, you can imagine that they constitute a veritable galaxy of letters, texts, histories, and also what are called “Thought Skirmishes,” wherein disagreements between the sages are documented in all their astonishing tedium. If you have ever found yourself in the unfortunate position to overhear two people squabbling intensely about something deeply impenetrable and can now bring to mind that particular sensation of unpleasantness and the desire to be elsewhere, why just imagine having to read reams and reams of transcribed accounts of these quarrels complete with lengthy and imaginative insults (I suppose that bit could at least be somewhat amusing).
その暮らしがどれほど過酷かは、私が初めて修行中の賢者―私たちは「修士」と呼びます―と出会った日のことをお話しすれば、おわかりいただけるでしょう。
あの日ほど、自分が「才能ある者」ではなく、ごく普通の鬼でよかったと思った日はありません。
ある午後、私は以前飲んだロシアの紅茶の名前を思い出そうと必死になっていたのですが、どうしても出てきませんでした。すると向こうから、一台の荷車を必死に引く若い修士が現れたのです。
荷車は今にもひっくり返りそうなほど巻物で山積みになっており、彼は疲労で倒れそうな顔をしていました。
さすがに放ってはおけません。私は代わりに荷車を引き受けたのですが、これが予想以上に重いこと重いこと。
彼の住まいまで運ぶことになりました。
修士たちは、互いに共同生活を送っています。人間なら修道院のような場所と考えていただくのが近いでしょう。普段は一般の鬼は立ち入れず、私も中を見るのは初めてでした。
正直なところ、「案外、噂ほど堅苦しい場所ではないのでは」と少し期待していたのです。
助けたお礼ということで、門番役の恐ろしい年長の鬼を彼が必死に説得してくれたおかげで、私は庭園まで入る許可をいただきました。とはいえ、運んでいたのは修士たちの「今月分の読書課題」だったそうですが、その量たるや、丸太の山のようでした。
To give an idea of what sort of life these “Sages in Training,” endure for many years, allow me to give a personal anecdote of my own first encounter.
Ah yes, never had I been so thankful to count myself among the “ungifted common folk” as one particular afternoon when an “Adept” (as we refer to these young sages in training) happened to be trudging by towing an entire cart practically toppling over with what I later learned was the “First Folio of Thought Skirmishes.”
Well, I was strolling along that afternoon and trying desperately to recall the name of a certain Russian black tea I once had and having no success, when there the poor stripling was, towing it along like some poor old ox looking as though he was about to faint from exhaustion. Well, I couldn’t very well just leave him like that, so I took up the cart myself (which as a good deal heavier than I anticipated) gave him a hand back to his communal dwelling. Adepts live with their fellow “sages-in-training” in a kind of, well, I guess you’d call it a sort of “monastery” and I had never been to one in person as they are generally closed off to the rest of oni society at large, except for special occasions and ceremonies, and was devilishly curious as to what the place was like on the inside. At the time, I thought perhaps seeing it in person would reveal it to be not quite the dreary and cloistered environs I had imagined. Well, the poor fellow was most appreciative and I was permitted to enter the garden grounds whilst helping him lug the enormous log-pile of scrolls for his “monthly reading assignment,” to the hallowed halls of future sages.
庭園は実に見事なものでした。
果樹が植えられ、美しく手入れされた池が点在し、色とりどりの花が咲いています。
「なるほど、才能ある鬼とは、なんと恵まれた身分なのだろう。」
そのときは本気でそう思いました。
やがて門番の厳しい監視のもと、「数分だけ」という条件で建物の中へ通されます。
修士に案内されて学び舎へ入ると、そこには六、七人ほどの若い修士がいました。
豪華な宴会場にも使えそうな立派な机の上には、ご馳走ではなく、『思想論争録 第一巻』が山のように積まれていたのです。
「本当にありがとうございました。」と修士は息を切らしながら言いました。
「あの最後の荷車は、本当に命取りになるところでした。家族にも合わせる顔がありません。でも、おかげでようやく勉強を始められます。」
「始める……？」
私は思わず聞き返しました。
彼は眼鏡を直しながらうなずきます。その間、一体の「亀甕（かめおさ）」が近づいてきて、大麦茶と汗拭き用のタオルを差し出しました。
亀甕とは、壺や土器の姿をした妖怪で、名家や学院で執事や世話係のような役目を務めています。
残念ながら、P・G・ウッドハウスの名執事ジーヴスほど洗練されても賢くもありませんが、それでも実によく働く頼もしい妖怪です。もしウッドハウスをまだ読んだことがないのでしたら、ぜひ一度お読みください。本当に心から楽しい作品ばかりです。
The rgrounds themselves were quite splendid I must say with various fruited trees, dotted about with well-attended ponds, and a whole variety of flowering plants. “Ah, how fortunate to be one of these gifted souls!” or so I thought at the moment. After entreating, on my behalf, a rather fearsome looking older oni who stood at the large imposing doors glaring at me with great suspicion, I was given permission to enter but only “under strict supervision and no more than a few minutes.” With that, after one final steel-eyed glower up and down my person, the guard gave a dismissive but approving grunt and the gates flung open as if by magic. The adept, made a brief bow and said, “Please do follow me,” and in we went. Following another string of profuse “thank yous” (he really was smallish and rather sickly looking oni) I pushed the scroll-laden cart to the “main study hall” and was shocked to find a group of six or seven other adepts spread out among fine and luxurious looking tables that in any proper setting would be put to use for a great mead hall or some other such feasting, but instead were piled high, not with good food and drink, but with the rest of the dreadful “First Folio.”
“Once more, I cannot thank you enough,” said the adept still a bit out of breath, “that last cartload was sure to have killed me, and my family would’ve been most ashamed. But thanks to your help, we can finally begin to study!” he said, looking quite cheerful all of a sudden.
“Begin?” I inquired somewhat perplexed.
“Yes,” he said adjusting his glasses for a moment while a helpful “Kameosa” came up and offered him a drink of barley tea and a much needed towel to wipe the sweat from his face and brow. The poor devil was perspiring a great deal and I suspect that he truly might have keeled over had I not happened to come along at just the right moment. Oh, incidentally, “Kameosa” are a sort of “jug” or “earthenware” yokai who often serve in noble oni households or some of our special academies (such as the adept’s communal living quarters) as a sort of, well, I guess you’d call them “butlers” or a “housekeepers” or something like that. Sadly, they aren’t so refined and brilliant as that fellow Jeeves who the great English author P. G. Wodehouse wrote about – have you read his books? If not, you really must for they are an unalloyed joy.
もっとも、私は亀甕を間近で見るのが初めてだったものですから、しばらく見とれているうちに、修士は話を続けました。
「ええ、私たちは全員そろってからでないと始められない決まりなのです。今日の午後に始めなければ、来月までに第一巻を読み終えられませんから。」
「つまり……これを全部読み終えるまで、この部屋から出られないのですか？」
「そのとおりです。それでは、市民殿。改めて心より感謝いたします。」
そう言って彼は丁寧に一礼すると、仲間たちのもとへ戻りました。
一同は「さあ始めよう！」というような声を上げると、巨大な巻物の山へ一斉に取りかかったのです。
私はしばらくその場で呆然としていました。
やがて袖を軽く引かれ、振り返ると、あの亀甕が「そろそろお帰りください」と身振りで丁寧に伝えていました。
彼らはあまり話すことが得意ではなく、身振りで意思を伝えることが多いのです。実に気立ての良い妖怪ですが、哲学談義の相手にはあまり向きません。
私は廊下を歩き、再びあの恐ろしい門番の鋭い視線を浴びながら、できる限り陽気に会釈をして外へ出ました。もちろん、会釈が返ってくることはありませんでしたが。
ようやく門を出ると、大きく息をつき、思わず空へ向かってつぶやきました。
「神々と、古き善き妖怪たちに感謝いたします。私がこれほど才能のない鬼で、本当によかった。」
その日私は、朝家を出たときよりもずっと、自分の田舎育ちの平凡な身の上をありがたく思いながら帰路についたのでした。
ですから読者の皆さま、大きな決断を担う人々を思うときは、「王冠を戴く者の頭は重い」という言葉を思い出してみてください。
……もっとも、その重さは王冠だけではなく、荷車にもあるようですが。
それでは、また次回まで。Until next time!
Still, despite their lack of grace and intellect, Kameosa really are quite helpful yokai and not easily contracted. In fact, this was my first time seeing one up close and I was admittedly a bit distracted as the young Adept began again,
“Oh, yes of course you wouldn’t know would you. Well, we all must begin together, regulations you see. And if we don’t start this afternoon I can’t see how we’ll get through the first folio before next month.”
“You mean, you’re…that is to say, confined to this hall until you’ve read all this?”
“Quite right, good citizen. And now I must bid you farewell, and again offer you my humble thanks,” he said with a very polite bow and then went straight away to join the others who offered a kind of “huzzah!” sort of cry as they all set to work combing through the mountain of scrolls.
I stood there a moment in shock, until I felt a gentle tug at my robe wherein the very same Kameosa gestured very politely but quite earnestly that my visit was at an end. (As a rule they can’t speak too well you see, and therefore prefer to communicate through gestures and signals such as they are able – again most hospitable creatures to have around but not much for thoughtful discourse). With that, I made my way down the corridor, passed the vigilant glare of the frightful gate guard once more giving as cheerful as a bow and wave as I could manage (which was not returned incidentally) and at last, found myself outside the grounds and breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
“Oh thank the gods and all the good yokai of yore that I am so very ungifted,” I couldn’t help but saying aloud to myself and went home a good deal more grateful for my humble, country origins than I had been at the start of the afternoon.
So, when thinking on weighty decisions, dear readers, and those special souls that are tasked with making them, it is perhaps good to reflect that “heavy lies the crown” to say nothing of the cart.
Until next time!
“What a splendid land this is, and how lovely are its people! Fear not, I promise not to eat anyone!”
-Aka-Oni
